Outstanding book. As a colleague in town, I saw the book in advance. As I read it, I quickly began to use several key concepts in my own psychotherapy practice. His points are put clearly and simply for ease of understanding and application. Yet they are sophisticated in their central and fundamental understanding of how people function. For example, “One cannot be protective and productive at the same time” expresses the truth being discovered in a wealth of cutting edge research in the neuroplasticity of the brain. Yet it is so clear that it is immediately applicable in the life of the most perplexed client. Or again, his description of the truth about self-esteem is profound in its clear simplicity and what you can do today to make it better. His illustrations are clear and helpful. If you have a desire to make a difference in your life, you’ll find this a wonderfully helpful book.
Rev. Dr. Lex Baer
Loved the story of you going to the huge cross at La Leche in St. Augustine with your lunch. Good history lessons at the beginning of the book. It adds credibility to the book.The maxim about unless one feels safe, nothing else matters is right on the money! Your scuba incident was life-altering. The check engine light was a familiar reference from my counseling with you. Love that image. My check engine light has been on for about 2 months. I see that my history has given me a skewed lens and I am FRICKed! I am in a state of the "ongoing maintenance of the mundane" but trying to keep an eye on my yet to be chosen target. Your writing flows naturally and gives the reader an instant connection of his/her reality and what gets in the way of our homeostatic condition. These chapters pinpoint the choices we have and how they affect every aspect of our lives. I like the way you used mail slots as an example of what we need to do when something comes our way and we can't readily put it in a slot because we don't have a slot for whatever that crisis is. Great analogy. Your diagrams are vivid and user-friendly.
"Death of a Salesman" is one of my favorites. The reader can identify with that story of mediocrity. Then, there's your pal Gladys who was inspiring at age 89. I like the way you bring in your own personal life references as it lends credibility to the writing. The reader feels as if they know you on a friendly basis, while maintaining total respect for your professionalism and advanced education. I think the reader who does not know you on that personal level will also be fully able to relate. Good work! More critiquing to come.
I finished your book this weekend. I want to share with you what I learned and how it has helped me but I am continuing to process it all. I can tell you this. It was very enlightening. I have been living on the outermost part of the see-saw you describe in chapter 7but have ever so gradually been moving towards the center - it feels like my whole life but most certainly the last 6 years! I continue to feel more and more free from "Cultural Christianity" and you have helped me. I am going to repeat myself at the risk of being irritating : You have played a major role in the process and I am forever grateful and ask God to continue to use you in such an amazing, real way
Michele L. Taylor-Caldwell, DNP, ARNP
Having been a pilgrim on a journey with Tim, I highly recommend this book. Not only have I experienced some of the suggestions but I have also been successful in the process---and as he points out, life is a process! I continue to use the tools that he taught me and that are mentioned in his book.. Reading DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY is like sitting in his office and talking with him---it is real, and it is informative---you, the reader, will discover why you think/feel/do as you do, and this information will definitely help you lead a healthier life as you are freed from the obstacles that have held you back.
First let me say that I didn't realize you were riding in the car with my husband and I and that you would quote our typical conversation verbatim in your book. While I was sitting in the waiting room at my Ophthalmologist's office I had time to read and turned to page 121 in your book. As I read the conversation on that page between the two "turtles" I actually laughed out loud and several folks looked at me like i was nuts. I read it three times because it was so true. You say that turtles never marry turtles but in our case maybe that's not so....however, I think I actually do have a little skunkiness in me and that makes me feel better. I am enjoying the book. I wish I had read this book 40 years ago.
I just wanted to let you know I finished your book over the weekend. I get up real early to ride my stationary bike 5-6 days a week for 45 minutes, and this is my time to read whatever I desire. It has been a great way to start off my day. It was great, and you write so well. Thank you for adding more "purpose" to my life; it is always a good idea to refresh one's self. I do feel so blessed, and very fortunate to have had your help along my path. I passed the book onto a dear friend. Take care, and congratulations on a terrific job!
Dr. Martha Smyth, DDS
Very simply stated, "Discover Your Destiny - The Soul, .The Self and the Search" is the finest book I have ever read. Knowing you personally as the therapist who consented to be my tour guide on the painful journey through the valley of grief over the death of my beloved husband and to help me claw my way from the personal abyss of sorrow into the light, I knew that anything you authored would be of the highest caliber. However, even at that, I was totally unprepared for the depth of knowledge and surrendering of yourself that this book delivered. As a strictly raised Roman Catholic I did not understand why the Church let me down at significant points in my life. I was searching for orthopraxy in a traditionally orthodox institution.
Although I love the Catholic Church, you helped me to see what was missing and gave it a name for me: "orthopraxy" , a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Your writing style is so precise that one cannot help but be drawn from one chapter to the next and to be further infused by the seven compass points. To read your book and to finely digest its thematic content helps the reader to establish a greater understanding of the phases of his/her life and the degree to which our "roots" direct our life "routes".In my own case it enlightened me to realize that for 28 years I worked in a system driven by anger and anxiety rather than one of synergy and energy.
Were I ever to have a message attached to my car it would read:"Meaning is about facts and how we interpret the facts." How true that message has been for me! And I can fairly assume it will be for others.
Having purchased many copies of "Discover Your Destiny..." to give as gifts, I can only hope that each receiver appreciates the quality and personal touches with which you have laced this book. And I trust that each reader will grasp the significance of living in the tension between our two natures: the human and the divine. I feel that this book will energize and inspire all interested readers to discover their own destiny . You have shown how to begin.
Discover Your Destiny: The Soul, The Self and The Search reminds us that throughout our lives we seek to find groups that confer a sense of belonging, acceptance, approval and identity. Illustrations drawn from a wide range of experience, SCUBA-biker-pastor-father-Daytona 500 Chaplain-and mental health counselor-encourage thinking about what is written. We are reminded that at any given moment we have only three options: (1) we can be where we are and accept it, (2) we can be where we are and be miserable, or (3) we can change. The book highlights the significance of living purposeful lives and knowing where we are on our journey. The use of nautical terms---latitude and longitude---and compass points---safety, meaning, justice, competence, connection, healing, and transcendence---guides us through what might be otherwise difficult theory.
Throughout we are reminded that confronting ourselves is difficult: we need trusted friends who will tell us the truth about ourselves. One of the most revealing statements in the book explains a great deal about societal problems today: “if you do not see the situation the way I do, then I will assault your character and integrity because you do not agree with me.” (McNeil, 123) I recommend reading and discussing this book. It can help transform how you deal with reality.
Jim Catron, Madison
(Retired College Registrar, Director of Counseling, Lay Leader, Madison FUMC
City Commissioner, grandfather)
I just finished reading your book and thoroughly enjoyed it. It really helped me connect the dots in how I see life and the world. Your book was thought provoking, serious at times and humorous at others. I especially appreciated your humor. You did an excellent job in describing the complex workings of our minds in a way that was easy for me to understand. Reading your book was a definite benefit to me and would highly recommend it to anyone searching for meaning on their journey through life.
I have absolutely no negative feedback about your book! Sorry, I tried to come up with something constructive, but nothing! I really just focused on processing through the info. Wasn't reading it critically for review although I was reading it much more slowly than I usually do to process the counseling principles.
Ok, let's see I'll try to come up with something-- Naturally, the hypnosis part is the part where eyebrows (mainly conservative Christians)
will be raised but you were pretty thorough in explaining it. I was looking forward to how you would address hypnosis.
Loved ALL the case studies. Like I said before, I would've liked more information on conscious relational covenant but this makes a nice plug and segue for your book 2 of the future and wasn't necessary to expound on for the intents and purposes of this book.
Love how you use personal and family examples. It shows vulnerability and realness in your family. These personal stories balance out the "thinker" part of the author.
--That, along with the case studies puts "skin" on the principles.
The purposeful vs. protective is a nice motif and probably the major takeaway from the book. The Frick explains a lot! I still have to look back at the book to see what they stand for in detail so if you revised I might either do a little more with it to make them memorable like you did with protective and purposeful. There's no way the reader will forget those!
Maybe mention them a little more often through the book?
I'm grabbing at straws because the book was EXCELLENT!!!
I love the part of the wounded vs. narcissistic self and the definition in the back. I love that the book was filled with detail and felt rich - not something you could speed through.
This is a VERY helpful book to a counselor. I've no doubt it will be helpful to any person or professional with a sincere desire to grown. Helped put issues in categories and provided a framework to divide and conquer so to speak! I feel that this was probably the most instrumental book in helping me to chart this new course in my practice!
I look forward to having it as a resource and reading through it again!
Oh! Loved the oppositional energy - I had never really thought about that concept - so true! This book makes you want to stretch from whatever Kohlberg stage you're at to the next one!
I loved the use of discovery, pioneer, explorer, navigation language. The Daytona Race references were fun. Found the diagrams, pictures, drawings helpful.
We're ready for your next book!
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